Neil Blomkamp Reveals ALF Concept Art
District 9 and Elysium director Neil Blomkamp has already set tongues wagging with his Alien concept art. Now it has been revealed that he has done many concept drawings for a gritty reboot of 80s alien based sitcom ALF.
The artwork depicts the cuddly looking alien Gordon Shumway being taken in by the Tanner family who christen him “ALF”. He then devours the whole family, one by one, in their sleep in what has been described as possibly being a biting satire of middle class white guilt or something.
Blomkamp’s agent, Dan Izider, said that his client was no longer working on the project. “Neil produced the artwork for a meeting with Warner Brothers. As the pictures became increasingly graphic several Warner’s executives had to leave the room and once Neil got to the drawing of ALF eating Willie Tanner’s intestines the Vice President of Reboots and Reimaginings vomited into a waste bin.”
Blomkamp had intended for Sharlto Copley to play ALF and Matt Damon had expressed interest in the role of Willie Tanner. Inzider says that he was initially disheartened at the reaction. “He was gutted until they told him that they were looking for something with a Scooby Doo vibe at which Neil just pissed himself laughing. Once he had managed to calm himself down a bit he asked if they had actually watched any of his films. They shifted uncomfortably and one of them said they had watched the trailer for District 9 a while back and he remembered it looking really funny. It was at that point Neil took his leave but not before throwing their espresso machine out of the window.”
Entertainment reporter Medcalf Van Cleef said that the movie going public have been denied a possible masterpiece. “ALF didn’t need remaking in any way, shape or form but if it were to be done what better way to make sure no one ever talks about fucking ALF ever again than by making it the most visceral and emotionally disturbing film ever made. Instead of this we are getting Chappie which I’m looking forward to but can’t take the title seriously as that is the name my wife has given to my penis.”