How to Get Away With Not Drawing Feet With Rob Liefeld
A masterclass in how to inexplicably have a successful career as a comicbook artist despite not being able to draw feet from the master. Rob will also explain how to draw comically over muscled men and why pouches are so great that he sleeps in one.
Dan Slott Apology Session
An opportunity for everyone who hurled invective at Dan Slott for Superior Spider-Man to apologise to him in person. As an added bonus if you let Dan kick you in the balls as an act of contrition you’ll get a free copy of Amazing Spider-Man #5. Get there early as the queue is expected to be very long.
Warner Brothers and DC Announce Added Characters to Dawn of Justice
Attendees will be invited to write the names of their favourite DC comics characters and then put them into a hat. A DC executive will then pull out 5 names and those characters will be written into the script for Superman Vs Batman.
George R.R. Martin Writing Session
George R.R. Martin will take to the stage and add 4 new words to The Winds of Winter. He has promised at that one of them will definitely be a verb.
WWE Studios Announce New Projects
WWE Studios will be announcing their adaptations of Arthur C Clarke’s Rendezvous With Rama starring The Undertaker and Alfred Bester’s The Stars My Destination starring John Cena and Sheamus.
Organisers at the San Diego Comic-Con say that an updated harassment policy is unnecessary as it’s likely that any harassment is due to attendees going through the Vulcan time of mating.
SDDC Spokesman Shane Dudeborough told a dumbstruck press conference “With the hundreds of thousands of people attending it stands to reason that a percentage of them are going through their seven yearly mating cycle. We think it would be unfair to prevent them from seeing early footage of Avengers: Age of Ultron because they are subject to a neurochemical imbalance that they can’t control. We certainly don’t stop women attending when they are going through that unsexy version of Pon Farr that makes them all grumpy.”
As incredulity sunk in Dudeborough continued. “Vulcan blood fever is a serious business. These people can’t return to the fictional planet they weren’t born on in order take part in the ceremony that doesn’t exist and we don’t have the facilities to cope with that. In an ideal world hall H would be entirely devoted to kal-if-fee in order to calm things down but there is no way we could get hold of enough lirpas. If these women complaining were real geeks they’d know that.”
Amber Reynolds, a cosplayer and regular SDCC attendee said. “When Spock was going through Pon Farr I don’t remember him feeling up T’Pring. talking exclusively to her breasts or trying to film her and making sleazy comments. Besides, the Vulcan blood fever is actually called Plak Tow and Pon Farr can be treated with intense meditation.”
“Anyone would think that they were trying to deflect responsibility away from themselves.”