Missing Episodes Of The Daleks Masterplan To Be Reconstructed With Sock Puppets

Mavic Chen, Guardian of the Solar System

1960s Doctor Who epic The Daleks Masterplan is to be released on DVD with its 10 missing episodes being reconstructed using sock puppets.

2 Entertain spokesperson Dan Inzider said “This is a story that many fans would like to finally see on screen but so little of it actually exists that animating 10 episodes would have been too costly. We sat down and looked at the options and it became clear that sock puppetry was the most cost effective way to realise this dream.”

Inzider said that the socks will be purchased at a local branch of Sports Soccer along with the ping pong balls that will be used for the eyes. “It’s really good value in there. You can get 5 pairs for a quid. I might pick some up for myself. We already have an old mop head kicking about somewhere that we can use for William Hartnell’s hair.”

Doctor Who fan Greg Bones was conflicted about the announcement. “As happy as I am that The Daleks Masterplan is coming to DVD I’m not sure that sock puppets are the right way to go. I would have preferred rod puppets myself but if money is an issue then could they not do something with folded paper?”

Peter Purves and Jean Marsh have been contacted to see if they would be willing to operate their sock puppet selves in order to lend greater authenticity to the reconstruction. “Purves said that he would be interested which we are grateful for. We thought that an actress of Jean Marsh’s calibre would be more difficult to secure but her agent told that once she agreed to do Willow all bets were off as far as creative integrity were concerned.”

If these new reconstructions are well received then plans are already in place for a sock puppet based reconstruction of The Macra Terror with jars of crab paste filling gin for the titular monsters.  

Moffat Promises Campest Daleks Ever

OOOOH. GET HER!

Steven Moffat has promised to counteract the darker tone and central performance of Doctor Who with the campest Daleks the show has yet seen on screen.

“Ste-Mo is very aware that Capaldi wants to take things in a more serious direction and he has physical scars as a permanent reminder” said Production Assistant Anne Incider. “But he is also aware that there is a chunk of the audience that wants the show to be light and fluffy so he’s made some production changes.”

Dalek voice actor Nicholas Briggs has been doing some extra preparation for this new take on the show’s most notorious villain. “Nick has spent week in intensive training with Alan Carr and has been listening to old episodes of Round the Horne to really hone his skills and find the truth behind the camp Daleks. The Dalek operators have also been instructed to try and move in a more camp way but without being obvious because if Capaldi gets wind of what they are up to he’ll head-butt their souls clear out of their bodies.”

Doctor Who historian Adrian Hexton said that they would have to go some to out camp some previous versions of the Daleks. “The 60s were an inherently camp decade at the best of times and the Daleks would reflect that. For instance in The Chase there is the Dalek that sounds like it’s trying to be all butch to impress the others but is actually pretty harmless. He meets a sticky end at the business end of Barbara’s cardigan and I always feel a little sorry for him. Then there were the Daleks in Destiny of the Daleks who were so camp that they managed to make the disco camp Movellans look tough and menacing.”

“I’m surprised that Capaldi hasn’t

cottoned on to be honest.” Said Incider. “You would have thought that calling it Into the Dalek would have been a red flag. I know Ste-mo have taken a week off from Saturday and is planning to spend the time in an undisclosed location learning krav maga in the hope that he can defend himself once Capaldi has actually watched it.”